Ten Commandments of Meetings
If you have ever held a job, you’ve been in a painful meeting. The word meeting derives from the a Latin phrase meaning “unpleasant gathering” (I made that up, but it feels true).
Getting work done in a group is essential to almost any profession, so figuring out how to do
it well is critical for almost every worker. Since meetings are just a form of group process and a means to completing tasks, they can be effective, if we follow the 10 Commandments.
1. Thou shall have no other work before the team’s work -Working on other items during meetings is inappropriate. If you can’t attend fully, do not attend.
2. Thou shall not have any graven images of yourself - Don’t attach your ideas to your ego. The focus is team success, not your own.
3. Thou shall not dishonor meetings by action or word - Be on time, prepared, and engaged. Basic manners are required. Use polite, respectful and truthful words
4. Honor the agenda and protect it appropriately - Know the goal of the meeting before you come or invite others. Push conversation toward completing the agreed upon agenda
5. Honor your team members that meetings may go well for you - Listen and do not interrupt. Do not carry on side conversations. Considering others’ input more highly than your own. Disagreement is essential but being disagreeable damages others.
6. Thou shall not commit meeting murder - Disrupting meetings is rude & unprofessional. So is hijacking the agenda. Being apathetic is as bad, but the death is slower.
7. Thou shall not cheat on your commitments - Write down your action items and do what you say you will do.
8. Thou shall not steal time from others with needless meetings.
9. Thou shall not bear false witness about meetings - Keep your word that you will start and stop on time.
10. Thou shall not envy your neighbors meetings. Invest in your meetings so they improve.
What would you add or take away?
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Thou shalt not chase rabbits in thy meeting. Like one time I was in this meeting and this one person told a funny joke which reminded another person of an even funnier joke… Is funnier right? Is it “more funny?” If it is right it is a funny looking word. Say it out loud. Funnier. FUNnier. FunNIER. Pretty much any word that ends with “ier” sounds wierd sounding. Maybe not pier. One time my wife and I went to pier 39 in San Fransico and I found a Zoltar machine. Like in the movie big. That was a good movie. Tom hanks should make more movies. They don’t make that many good movies anymore do they? The last movie I saw was “Hop”. A movie about a bunny that didn’t want to be the Easter bunny. We are all like that bunny aren’t we? Chasing an impossible dream. Which brings me back to my original point. Don’t chase rabbits in meetings. You just end up sounding foolish.
More good stuff, Dave. Meetings are literally the Dickens. The best of times. The worst of times.
Jay, indeed it is the Dickens. As Mr. Omer said, “a man must take the fat with the lean; that’s what he must make up his mind to, in this life. ” (Copperfield) Many of my meetings are far too lean!